Rooves...?

They're pregnant.... but they have penes! (plural as provided by Marisa, thank you!). They're Hermaphromuffins!

So here's a problem that's been bothering me a great deal lately: is 'rooves' still a word? Because last I remember, it was! And then just recently Word told me it was misspelled, and now I can't remember if I ever knew that before. I must have. Right? I mean, English is my first language, and roof isn't exactly an uncommon word. But 'roofs' just doesn't seem right! Is that just a recent decision on the part of the people at Microsoft, or at the grand English word spelling/dictionary place? (Oxford, I suppose) Because I probably updated Word at some point this year, and that may have been when they changed it.... I just know they did! Slimy bastards.

Yesterday I went to Villa Lante in Bagnaia with three friends instead of going hiking. We lay on the grass and got freckled and sunburnt and walked through the grounds of the garden. Upon arriving at one of many of the fountains (this one a large, murky pool with a four-headed fountain at the center), two of our number went off into a meadow to make out, leaving me and Pat to entertain ourselves at the pool. The cement wall around it came up to about our waists, and we couldn't see the bottom for the murky quality of the water, so we were curious as to how deep it was - we really wanted to wade out to the fountain. So Pat, sitting on the edge, lowered himself in up to his shorts. No bottom. I lowered myself in up to my butt (I was wearing capris past my knees.... they got a tad damp). No bottom. So we ran into the nearby meadow, got two monster branches, and returned to the fountain, confident that these branches, each easily 6 feet, would reach the bottom. Nope. Even with our arms in up to our shoulders and the branches extended straight down so that we were reaching 7 or 8 feet deep, there was no bottom. Defeated, we sat on the side, dangling our feet in and watching some pretty creepy fish leaping one after the other, dozens of them, all in the same spot out to the left of the fountain. Personally, I think that the Loch Ness Monster's younger cousin is in there at the bottom. Anyway, after a while a man came by with his girlfriend, and apparently wishing to impress her he was telling her everything he knew about the pool. We listened disinterestedly until we heard two chilling words that changed everything. "venti metri," he told her as she feigned interest at his textbook knowledge. "20 deep dark meters."

So.

The water was marvelously refreshing, though. And my pants dried out after an hour or two.

And sunlight, it cures everything. Sole, ti amo! Already these past few days of sunshine and warm breezes and summer-like drowsiness have been enough to erase even the cruelest winter.

As for the date, well, he was quite the Italian. I could say anything I like here, as he'll probably never take the initiative to stumble across my blog, nor would he be able to understand it. Ah, the power! But I shan't divulge much. It was terribly romantic. However, as does every single other Italian from the age of 14 and up, he smokes. And so ends potential for romance, unless I won him over so completely that he realizes he'd give up even smoking to return with me to Pasadena and live a happy healthy life for which he'll always have me to thank.

You know, if you're reading this and you smoke, for the sake of the people around you just smetterla! It's gross, it smells bad, and it's killing you! And (I'm now referring to some of my classmates, as opposed to my date - he was a perfect gentleman, relatively speaking, by smoking downwind of me and by not once pressuring me to join him) when you offer someone a cigarette, just think about what an awkward situation you're putting him or her in! Inconsiderate, of others and of yourself. So don't!

That being my pep talk of the day, I shall now retire to bed, and dream about marshmallows and hot dogs and peanut butter, and popsicles, which I didn't even remember existed until today when I was lying on the grass of Valle Faul prendendo il sole, and suddenly had a need for Trader Joe's delicious fruit ones.

Tomorrow lurks... Latin test, Math test, English in-class writing assignment. And at the end of the day, La Vita è Bella con il brillante Roberto Benigni, che io amo tanto tanto. And at last.... spring break. I've earned it.

'In bocca al lupo,' si dice. Poi, 'crepi il lupo!'