Things I was scared of when I came to Italy

Though I never considered giving up on this adventure, certain fears lingered in the back of my mind.

1) Being a foreigner (specifically an American foreigner): this is actually something I've come to love. It's okay to walk around the town with a camera out - no one cares, because I'm just an American, and they're used to American tourists. But on the flip side of the coin, when I go into a shop and try to talk in my mangled Italian, suddenly I'm no longer a tourist because I'm not just here to see the sites and take photos, but to learn and to take part in Italian culture. The Italians I've encountered thus far are all so eager to help me learn Italian, and don't care that I know so little. They're just thrilled that I try ("try" being the key word here. There are still several months between me and success). Still, though, it's fun being the foreigner, being the one who can speak another language here (it makes me feel bilingual, even if I still can't speak any Italian...).

2) Coming to love the Bush Administration: AAAAAAH!!! Everyone I know who's studied abroad has told me that they came back loving America and thinking it's great. That was possibly my greatest fear of studying abroad. As an American living in Europe, would I become defensive of Bush and of the greatness of Cheney? And seriously, why complain about Bolton? He isn't that bad, right? Ew. Ew, ew, ew. But now, thank all that is good and holy, I think I know what everyone meant about coming to love America. I've come to appreciate things about America that I never even thought of before. Things I didn't like, I still don't like, but suddenly I love the little things, like how it's summer all year round in Pasadena, and how blue jeans are the second greatest invention known to man, and how "okay" is now a word in every language, so when my tongue is tired of speaking Italian I can just say okay and still be understood. I love also how the high schools work, how each school has its own curriculum, and a person can go to different schools based on her or his interests.

3) Liking America better than Italy: What with my newfound affection for home, I was afraid that I would not like Viterbo as much. Not so. Not so at all. They're so different, so completely different that there's honestly no comparison. I love Pasadena for my friends and for Westridge and for the year-round summer and because everyone wears flip-flops even in the rain. But here, Viterbo, Italy - I love it for its antiquity, and for the rich history and identity both ancient and modern that the US lacks utterly. When I first heard I'd be living in an Etruscan town, I was disappointed because I identify ancient Italy solely with the Romans, and the idea of living in a town that wasn't originally Roman was a deterrent. However that's all fluff and nonsense. The Etruscans have every bit a rich and wonderful history as the Romans, in fact possibly more so, as indeed the Romans learned much from the Etruscans when under their rule. Living here is living in a museum, but a fascinating one, where everywhere I look is something at least several hundred years old if not older. I love how when I turn a corner suddenly I'll be in the medieval quarter of the town, ancient stone buildings on either side. And I love the traffic. It's nothing like driving in the US - here it's take what you can get, drivers will go wherever they please as fast as they please, as will motorcyclists and pedestrians, yet I have yet to see a single accident. But any worry I had that I would not like this town was a foolish one. Viterbo is perfect.

4) Changing my mind: Not for a moment since I first discovered this program (Advertisement moment: SYA IS AWESOME!!!!) did I have any doubt in my mind that I would go. I knew that if I passed up this opportunity I would never forgive myself. At the same time, though, I couldn't imagine leaving behind everyone and everything. But it was one or the other, and I knew which one I was going to pick. I was terrified, though, that once I couldn't turn back, I would change my mind; I would want to go back home, back to what I know. But I don't. I love you all, but I haven't for a moment regretted coming here. When I'm frustrated that I can't say even simple things in Italian, or when I'm sore from lugging so many books to and from school each day, or when my host mother gives me poisonous things to eat, I love it. Every moment here, every weird or intimidating experience is a new and awesome one. I can't get enough of everything around me. I wouldn't change a thing if I had this all to do over again.